The Secret Science of Highly Successful Relationships in Affordable Housing (AKA: How Not to Lose Your Mind with Sellers, Operators, and Wholesalers)

Let’s face it: some people are human versions of a leaky faucet. Spend five minutes negotiating with them, and you’re ready to crawl into bed with a glass of wine and an episode of House Hunters. These folks are what we affectionately call “energy vampires”—sucking the life out of every conversation, deal, or attempted friendly exchange at a real estate networking event.

But then there are those rare unicorns of the affordable housing world—people who somehow make your day better just by existing. Whether it’s the seller who doesn’t want to nickel-and-dime you over some crumbling concrete slab or the wholesaler who’s mysteriously helpful without a hidden agenda (yes, they exist!), these people leave you feeling lighter, more optimistic, and dare I say it—happy.

So what’s their secret? It turns out, there’s a science behind the magic of these rare birds: it’s called “positive relational energy.” Fancy name, right? Basically, it means these folks have the Jedi-like power to not only keep you sane but actually make you want to keep doing business with them. Let’s dive into how this works in the affordable housing circus we call life.

Positive Relational Energy: Why Some People Are Actually Fun to Work With

Researchers, likely trying to escape their own energy vampires, dug into this concept. They found that certain people (positive energizers) can elevate everyone around them. In real estate terms, that’s the broker who doesn’t make you feel like you’re signing your life away for some dilapidated trailer park, or the park operator who manages to fix the septic tank and crack a joke about it.

These positive energizers are key to highly productive relationships—whether it’s sealing a deal, running an affordable housing project, or just surviving the endless emails from a wholesaler trying to pawn off a half-abandoned mobile home park in rural Nebraska.

The Seven Keys to Cultivating Positive Energy (Or: How to Be the Person Everyone Wants to Close Deals With)

  1. Show Genuine Appreciation: Yes, sellers are often stubborn, but acknowledging their unique way of seeing a park as worth twice its actual value is a start. Maybe they didn’t get their asking price, but thank them for their vision. They’ll feel respected, and you won’t look like the jerk just here to scoop up a cheap property.
  2. Be Supportive: Whether it’s a park operator trying to manage an eviction or a seller grappling with the emotional weight of letting go, offer support. It’s not about solving their problems—just show empathy. Remember that time you saved your park from a burst pipe and thought the world was ending? Yeah, someone probably showed you a little kindness then, too.
  3. Forgive and Move On: So, the seller ghosted you for two weeks. Holding a grudge only makes your life harder. Forgive, forget, and don’t let the missed emails ruin the deal. Besides, in this business, people come back around—often with an even shadier offer.
  4. Celebrate the Good Stuff: You’ve finally got a signed contract after three months of back-and-forth. Celebrate it! Whether it’s over lunch or just by telling your spouse you’re not quitting this business (yet), acknowledging the wins keeps you motivated when the next seller asks for $500k over the park’s actual value.
  5. Find Meaning in Your Actions: You’re not just buying mobile home parks—you’re providing affordable housing, stabilizing communities, and maybe even keeping someone from being evicted. That’s big. Remind yourself of the impact, especially when dealing with the occasional dumpster fire of a deal.
  6. Embrace Core Values: Honesty, integrity, and fairness aren’t just for the mission statement. When you live by these, everyone—sellers, operators, even your sometimes-conniving wholesaler—knows they can trust you. It makes the whole process less of a nightmare.
  7. Prioritize Your Well-Being: Self-care isn’t just for people who do yoga. You can’t keep up with 18-hour days negotiating deals if you’re running on empty. Take care of yourself, so you have the energy to deal with yet another seller who swears the roof doesn’t really need replacing.

Practical Steps to Avoid Becoming an Energy Vampire Yourself

  1. Daily Gratitude: Send a quick text or email to someone you’ve worked with—maybe the operator who kept the park running smoothly or the broker who didn’t completely derail your deal. Express appreciation, and watch how much easier those follow-up calls become.
  2. Active Listening: Whether you’re talking to a tenant, a seller, or a broker, listen like you mean it. Nodding along while mentally checking your phone doesn’t count. Actually engaging shows that you value their input, even when they’re explaining why their park’s septic system is totally “just fine.”
  3. Forgiveness Practice: Got a grudge? Write it down, stare at it, and then throw it away. You’re going to need that emotional bandwidth for future deals where someone inevitably screws up or ghosts you again.

Conclusion

Whether you’re buying, selling, operating, or just trying to make it through another day without screaming into the void, infusing your relationships with positive energy isn’t just a “nice to have”—it’s essential. It’ll make deals smoother, keep your sanity intact, and, bonus, it’s way more fun than being the person everyone dreads working with.

Jason Ramshaw

Jason Ramshaw is one of the nation’s leading experts in affordable housing, known for his strategies, his groundbreaking work continues to transform communities, making homeownership achievable for all.

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