It’s a fact universally acknowledged that nothing lasts forever. Unless, of course, you’re talking to a mobile home park investor, in which case the only thing that lasts forever is rent increases and complaints about potholes. The world may have its theories on life after death, but the affordable housing industry has a more pressing question: what happens to the rent when the resident moves on to that great trailer park in the sky?
According to the German scientist Sabine Hossenfelder, we are, in fact, immortal—at least in a mathematical sense. This is good news for mobile home park investors because if you trust the numbers (and let’s be honest, they always trust the numbers), then their cash flow from lot rent is eternal. The idea is simple: information cannot be destroyed, so in theory, you, me, and even that guy in Lot 17 with the suspicious collection of lawn gnomes could be reassembled in the distant future. Which is really just another way of saying that if you hang on to your park long enough, someone will always owe you money.
But let’s break down this immortal theory through the lens of mobile home park investing, where entropy, human frailty, and trailer skirting collide.
1. The Drop of Ink (or the Eternal Tenant)
Hossenfelder compares death to a drop of ink falling into the ocean: the drop (you) dissolves, but it never really disappears. Now, apply this to mobile home park investing. You might think that when a tenant passes away or moves out, that’s the end. But no! Just like the ink in the ocean, that tenant’s existence lingers—forever preserved in unpaid utility bills, mysterious stains on the carpet, and the lingering scent of a decades-old cat.
And, as any seasoned investor knows, tenants may come and go, but the fees, oh, the fees—they remain eternal. That late payment for the water bill? It might vanish into the records, but it’s never really gone. Somewhere, in the vast cosmos of property management software, it persists, waiting to be discovered like some quantum ghost haunting the spreadsheets.
So yes, we’re immortal. Or at least, our billing cycles are.
2. Entropy and Lot Rent: The True Forces of the Universe
Hossenfelder also mentions that we die because of entropy—the increasing disorder in the universe. I’d argue that entropy is alive and well in any mobile home park, where the natural state of a property seems to be disrepair. Much like how our bodies inevitably break down, so too do the homes in Lot 9, Lot 12, and that entire row of units where no one seems to own a proper weed whacker.
But the beauty of mobile home investing is that while everything decays—water heaters, roofs, and occasionally your faith in humanity—the lot rent keeps going up. This is the industry’s version of anti-entropy: a steady, ever-increasing cash flow that seems immune to the universe’s penchant for chaos. And as long as investors keep collecting rent, who cares if the park is slowly succumbing to the laws of thermodynamics?
You see, while entropy may take down the universe one broken HVAC unit at a time, mobile home park investors will still be there, clipboard in hand, adjusting the rent.
3. The Big Bang of Cash Flow (and the Cyclic Universe of Repairs)
When Hossenfelder talks about the Big Bang as the simplest theory about the universe’s origin, it makes me think of the day you buy a mobile home park. That’s your Big Bang moment—an explosion of opportunity (and likely a few legal disputes over tenant evictions). But what no one tells you is that, much like the universe, mobile home parks might be cyclic. It’s not a one-time bang, but an endless loop of repairs, improvements, and minor disasters.
First, there’s the initial renovation—like the universe cooling down after the Big Bang. You fix the potholes, replace the plumbing, and evict the family of raccoons living under Unit 24. Then comes the calm—a brief period of collecting rent and sipping celebratory wine. But entropy (that pesky cosmic force) returns. Suddenly, that same pothole you fixed a year ago reappears, mysteriously deeper and hungrier than before. The park goes through cycles of order and disorder, and so does your bank account.
In Hossenfelder’s terms, this is like the cyclic universe—expanding and contracting forever. But in mobile home parks, we just call it “routine maintenance.”
4. Quantum Events and That One Unpredictable Tenant
Finally, we come to quantum events—those unpredictable, unexplainable occurrences that even physicists can’t predict. In mobile home park investing, quantum events are known by a different name: tenants.
There’s always that one tenant who is a complete enigma. Will they pay rent this month, or will they send a handwritten note about how the government is stealing their chickens? No one knows, least of all the tenant. It’s a quantum mystery. One day they’re planting flowers in their yard, and the next they’re hosting an impromptu bonfire in the driveway, fueled by old tires and bad decisions.
Much like how we can only predict the probability of quantum events, investors can only predict the likelihood of certain tenant behaviors. Sure, you’ve got the late fee built into the lease, but will they actually pay it? Or will they evaporate like a particle wave, leaving nothing but a rusting lawn chair and a broken satellite dish behind?
Conclusion: Immortality by Lot Rent
So, are we immortal? If you trust the mathematics, sure. But for mobile home park investors, immortality is less about reassembling your molecules in some far-off galaxy and more about the slow, steady accumulation of lot rent—whether the tenants are paying in this life or the next.
And if the universe really is a series of endless cycles, at least you can count on one thing: someone, somewhere, will always owe you rent. And in that sense, we truly are eternal.
