Ever find yourself sitting across from a guy who’s trying to sell you a mobile home park and wonder, “Is he emotionally connected to me, or does he just really want me to take on this mess?” If so, I’ve got news for you. Just like in any relationship, there are phrases these sellers drop that should have you questioning their intentions. Not so different from a budding romance—except in this case, instead of love, you’re being wooed into taking on septic problems, tenant disputes, and mysterious lawn ornaments.
So, let’s dive into the top 10 phrases a mobile home park seller might use when they’re feeling emotionally connected (read: desperate to offload the park).
1. “I trust you.”
When a seller looks you in the eye and says, “I trust you,” it’s not so much about handing over the keys to his heart—it’s about handing over the deed to his problem. He’s opening up, allowing himself to be vulnerable, and subtly implying, “Please, dear God, take this park off my hands.”
Trust is important in any relationship, sure. But in a mobile home park transaction, “I trust you” is code for “I’ve seen the place, you’ve seen the place, we both know what’s going on here. Let’s just make this deal before you change your mind.”
2. “I understand.”
Ah, the sweet sound of empathy in a real estate deal. When the seller starts saying, “I understand,” it’s like hearing violins in the background. He’s not just listening to your concerns about why Lot 17 is half-flooded, he’s connecting with you on a deep, emotional level—or at least he wants you to think that.
This phrase usually comes up after you’ve expressed doubts, like “Why does the park’s maintenance guy only work on Tuesdays between noon and 1 p.m.?” or “What exactly is that smell coming from the laundry room?” And just like that, with a heartfelt “I understand,” he’s hoping you’ll feel validated and keep moving forward with the sale. After all, you’ve got something in common now—a shared understanding that you’re about to inherit a circus.
3. “You make me happy.”
When a seller tells you, “You make me happy,” it’s a classic manipulation move. He’s not talking about you as a person, of course. He’s talking about you as a potential buyer. “You make me happy” translates to “You’re the first person in three months who hasn’t run out of here after seeing the state of the electrical system.”
He’s laying it on thick, hoping you’ll feel special. It’s not about the park anymore, it’s about how you make him feel. If he’s saying this, you can bet he’s already envisioning a future where he’s off on a beach somewhere while you’re here, figuring out why half the tenants haven’t paid rent since Y2K.
4. “I miss you.”
When a seller says, “I miss you,” it’s less about longing for your presence and more about wanting to keep the deal alive. Maybe you took a few days to think it over, maybe you haven’t returned his last email, and suddenly—boom—“I miss you.”
You know what this means, right? It means the clock’s ticking on his side, and he’s getting a little desperate. You haven’t been around, and he’s been left alone with all those late-night calls about broken plumbing and the neighborhood raccoon problem. Missing you? Sure. But mostly, he’s missing the idea of you signing the contract so he can get out of Dodge.
5. “You’re the right person for this.”
This is the seller equivalent of saying, “You complete me.” It’s a line designed to make you feel like this park was destined for you. Never mind that the park itself looks like it’s been destined for demolition—it’s all about you. You belong here, running this park. Never mind the weeds taller than your waist or the fact that half the homes have tarps instead of roofs. This is your place.
Of course, what he really means is, “You’re the first person gullible enough to think this is a good deal.”
6. “This place has potential.”
Translation: “This place is a disaster, but I’m hoping you’ve got rose-colored glasses on.” When a seller says this, it’s a subtle way of admitting that yes, the park may need a little work. Or a lot. But hey, potential! It’s like telling someone they’ve got a great personality after you’ve noticed they haven’t cleaned their house since 1998.
The phrase “has potential” should always be followed by a mental calculation of how much money you’re going to have to sink into it to make that potential even remotely possible. Spoiler: It’s always more than you think.
7. “You can really make this place your own.”
This is like when someone says, “I love your quirks” in a relationship, only to later realize your quirks include a five-hour daily conversation about your favorite conspiracy theories. The seller is trying to spin the fact that there’s no real management in place—so, hey, it’s a blank slate for you to make it your own. What he means is, “Good luck sorting out this mess.”
8. “It’s a great investment.”
This one’s almost too easy. Anytime someone tells you something is a “great investment,” you should immediately start looking for the exit. It’s the real estate version of, “I’m not like other guys.” What he’s really saying is, “I need to unload this park before the infrastructure collapses entirely.”
9. “You’ve got the vision for this.”
Here’s the thing—if you’re being told you’ve “got the vision,” it usually means the seller is banking on you having a more optimistic outlook than they ever did. It’s not that you have vision, it’s that you’re about to get saddled with a place that requires a full HGTV-style transformation—and you’re the one footing the bill.
10. “We’ll stay in touch.”
Ah, the classic breakup line. You know you’re never going to hear from him again once this deal closes. “We’ll stay in touch” is the real estate version of “Let’s just be friends,” and it’s his way of saying, “Good luck, you’re on your own now.”
And with that, you sign the papers, wondering how you got here. You’re emotionally bonded to the seller now, not because of anything romantic, but because you’ve just signed up for a lifetime of troubleshooting septic systems and negotiating late rent payments.
But hey, at least you make him happy.
