We know, deep down, that empathy is hardwired into us. It’s not just a nice-to-have personality trait; it’s essential for our emotional health, survival, and creating meaningful connections with others. This isn’t just fluff—empathy can transform your relationships, personality, and even the way you approach disagreements.
But maybe you’re thinking, “I listen well enough, and I’ve never seen those miraculous results.” Well, odds are, you’re not listening empathetically. Don’t worry; I’ve got a simple experiment to test your listening skills, and unlike some abstract techniques, this one actually works.
Next time you’re in a disagreement with someone—a friend, family member, or even a seller—pause. Before you respond, try this: each person must restate the other’s ideas and feelings to their satisfaction before offering their own perspective. Yes, this is going to be annoying because, let’s face it, we all want to win arguments, not make the other person sound smart. But that’s precisely the point.
Instead of twisting their words into something laughable or weak (the classic “straw man” argument), you’ll be forced to fully understand their perspective. The result? You’ll have a real conversation, not a contest of who can out-sarcasm the other.
It’s tough, but the payoff is huge. You’ll start to build trust, show that you’re genuinely listening, and, who knows, maybe even resolve some issues. After all, isn’t it better to move toward a solution rather than just “winning” the argument?
This method works in sales, too. When someone feels heard—really heard—they’re more likely to trust you. And that’s the first step to any meaningful interaction, whether you’re negotiating a deal or just figuring out who’s doing the dishes.
So, give it a try. You might be surprised by how much empathy can change the way you communicate—and the results it brings.
