Alright, let’s get into it: childhood. That mysterious land of cereal commercials, weird family dynamics, and—if you’re lucky—lots of love. But some people don’t quite get the Hallmark version. Instead, they get a sort of DIY childhood where love was maybe more of a suggestion than a rule. You might think you left all that behind with your jelly sandals, but nope! Your childhood is right here, making sure your adult life is just a bit… complicated.
Turns out, according to psychology (yes, actual science), not feeling truly loved as a kid comes with a grab bag of traits you’ll probably recognize in yourself or the people you know. So here they are: the seven telltale signs of those who missed out on that childhood TLC. If this resonates a little too much, don’t worry—you’re definitely not alone.
1. Difficulty Forming Attachments (aka, “I Can’t Do Brunch with New People” Syndrome)
If you never felt really, fully loved as a kid, you may have learned to treat relationships like questionable leftovers: look, but don’t touch. Psychology calls this an “attachment issue,” where you’re convinced everyone’s probably out to let you down eventually, so why even bother getting close?
Now, when you’re a landlord in affordable housing, this plays out in hilarious ways. You’ve got people saying “I’ll be out of town, could you watch my cat?” And instead of just saying yes, you’re calculating if this is some weird ploy to make you vulnerable. You’re not just the landlord; you’re also the town therapist. It’s exhausting. But hey, once you can see the humor in it, that’s half the battle.
2. Overly Independent (or, “I Got This. Seriously, I Don’t Need Anyone’s Help”)
Independence is usually a good thing—until you find yourself dodging people offering actual help like it’s a strange game of hide-and-seek. Growing up without dependable love can leave you thinking that the only person you can count on is yourself. Need the lawn mowed? You’re doing it. Tenants request a park upgrade? “Sure thing, but I’ll handle it myself.”
Psychologists will tell you this “super independence” is a defense mechanism—a way to avoid getting burned. But in practice, it just means you’re tackling every issue solo, building fences and fixing pipes like some renegade DIY reality star.
3. Hyper-Empathy (aka, “I Feel Your Pain, Times 10”)
If you weren’t loved enough as a kid, chances are you became a human emotion radar. You can read people like an open book—which sounds great, until you realize it means taking on everyone’s feelings, like, everyone’s. You’re out here working with tenants, picking up on every slight tone shift. Did someone say “good morning” a little too curtly? You’re practically in tears wondering what’s wrong.
Research actually backs this up, calling it “hyper-empathy.” It’s great for building rapport but can be brutal on your emotional health. So, you might need to remind yourself to take it easy. Sometimes a brisk “good morning” is just that—no need to wonder if they’re mad about the rent hike from last year.
4. Perfectionism (or, “I Can’t Afford Any Mistakes, Ever”)
Ah, perfectionism. The classic. For those of us who didn’t feel loved, every tiny error feels like the end of the world. You’re out here re-sodding lawns three times just to make sure they’re perfect. Someone’s porch is two shades off-white? Out comes the paint kit, because, heaven forbid, someone thinks you’re slacking on park aesthetics.
Psychologists say this drive to be perfect is all about worthiness. If you’re perfect, maybe no one will notice the things you’re insecure about. But heads up, that over-perfectionism has a downside: you’re probably your own worst critic, and newsflash—you can probably ease up a bit. No one’s examining every blade of grass as closely as you are.
5. Struggle with Self-Esteem (aka, “I Don’t Deserve Anything Nice, Probably”)
Let’s be real: a shaky childhood doesn’t exactly lay the foundation for high self-esteem. When you never felt truly loved, it’s tough to feel like you deserve love, let alone success, or compliments, or even a good parking spot. So, you’re out there, running this mobile home park, managing tenants, solving problems—and all the while questioning if you’re even doing it right.
This low self-esteem stuff can be sneaky. One minute you’re just fine, the next you’re spiraling about whether you deserve to be in charge of anything. But remember, just because you feel like an imposter sometimes doesn’t mean you are one. Besides, if you’re showing up and putting in the effort, you’re already miles ahead.
6. Fear of Intimacy (or, “Please Don’t Get Too Close”)
Nothing says “I’ve got some childhood baggage” quite like a good old-fashioned fear of intimacy. You can handle tenants’ complaints, send polite holiday cards, and offer help when someone’s struggling—but get close? No thanks. Psychology says those who didn’t feel truly loved as kids have a hard time opening up. Why? Because vulnerability feels like a trap.
You don’t have to let people all the way in, but maybe, just maybe, you can let them in a little. You know, make some real connections. Chances are, it’ll make you feel a little less like the lone wolf of the park.
7. Strong Resilience (aka, “I Can Handle Whatever Life Throws My Way”)
If there’s one silver lining to a love-deficient childhood, it’s that you come out of it tough as nails. You’re resilient as hell. Tenants forget their payments? You’re already on it. Someone’s trailer catches a bit too much rust? No big deal—you’re dealing with it. You’re basically the Dwayne Johnson of property management.
Sure, you might be carrying a few more emotional scars than most, but resilience isn’t nothing. You’re still standing, still running the show, still making things work. And that’s kind of amazing. You’ve turned that rocky start into grit, which, hey, goes a long way when you’re handling the ups and downs of managing affordable housing.
Final Thoughts: Embrace Your Weirdness (It’s Part of the Package)
Look, not feeling loved as a kid can leave you with a quirky batch of traits. But those same traits also make you uniquely you. Maybe you’re overly independent, or maybe you’re too empathetic. Maybe you’re still working on your self-worth, and maybe, just maybe, you’ve still got a little attachment thing going on.
But here’s the thing—if you can laugh about it (even just a little), then you’re already on your way to handling it. Embrace the quirks, build on your resilience, and use that hyper-empathy for good. Because, weird as you might feel, you’re in good company. And if you can make it work in this business, you’re definitely doing something right.
